The Follies of Fedjacketing
Or "That's exactly what a FED would Substack about!"
Optional guest narration of the article.
On January 20th of 2024, Patriot Front again conducted one of the largest and best-organized Nationalist demonstrations in America today on the streets of New York City. And, as has become the custom in the present day, they were accused of being “Feds” by an army of armchair critics both online and off.
The feeding frenzy is as absolutely confident as it is mindlessly repetitious. Big accounts and small, generally catering to that Conservative mindset that cultivates budding dissidents into inept pawns to be swept off the board at a moment’s notice, feed on the ensuing tweetstorms.
To thoughtful sorts, this mentality might be perplexing. To the hard-working activist, these thoughtless accusations are frustrating. Where does Fedjacketing come from? Why is it so compelling? And how do you counteract such a persistent accusation?
This article will attempt to demystify the Fedjacketing phenomena and provide some means of counteracting the paralyzing paranoia it causes.
Whence Cometh Fedjacketing?
Fedjacketing, the term for accusing others of being subversive and bad-faith agents of the government, comes from the birthplace of many memes and neologisms online: The bowels of 4chan.
Glowie was a phrase first used or at least popularized by Terry Davis, a beloved schizophrenic who once claimed that federal agents were easy to spot because they glowed in the dark. Aside from this apparent quality making them easy to run over at night, Glowies also was a delightfully memetic term that denotes those who have suspicious qualities lending themselves to subversive agents deployed by hostile institutions. They’re so suspicious they just glow, you see.
4chan used the terms Glowies and Feds to criticize posters who would Fedpost - that is, make entrapment-tier comments that try to goad people into supporting or conducting illegal activity. 4chan users warned each other how Feds justify their paychecks by actively creating honeypot organizations to entrap the unwary in criminal conspiracies – because it is easier to make criminals than to catch real ones.
The cases of documented federal honeypots creating crimes where none existed before are too numerous to link. Off the top of my head I can mention the Governor Whitmer honeypot kidnapping plot, the still-unfolding federal involvement with January 6th, and a literal retard groomed into an ISIS-funder by feds. Even a FBI whistleblower spilling the beans on right-wing entrapment schemes is just par for the course with these American KGB agencies.
But this warning about actual Fed activity gradually turned into the easiest way to criticize any in-real-life political activity outside of the two-party system. Fedjacketing stokes the natural paranoia of persecuted people into believing that there is a Fed behind every blade of grass, that every effort beyond the screen is a ploy designed to ruin your life, and anyone who stands up in public is some kind of spook or actor. But how could such a paranoid fantasy be so widely disseminated and, apparently, accepted?
The FBI have only 35,000 employees, of which only a fraction are actual field-agents. Even the FBI’s network of confidential informants numbers at only about 15,000. The CIA has only 21,575 employees, many of whom have their hands too full with sabotaging other countries with pride parades and drug networks to bother with domestic honeypots. The ATF has only 5,099 employees of all stripes who apparently couldn’t investigate their way out of a paper bag. All together this amounts to at best one Glowie per 4,380 people in the United States, or about 0.000228% of the US population.
To say the federal government is hopelessly outnumbered by the people of this country is an understatement. They’re utterly overwhelmed. Therefore, Fedjacketing as a psychological tool provides a huge advantage in preventing counter-politics from ever getting started in the first place.
By encouraging an unhealthy level of paranoia and hesitation among those most likely to host “problematic views”, these actors induce learned helplessness in millions of increasingly disaffected patriots, rendering them corralled and pacified. Just as the central guard tower of the Panopticon dominates the sight of every individual prisoner despite being manned by just a single guard, so too do paranoid delusions of federal omnipresence loom over the minds of most of our decaying country.
So, how does this psychological trick work?
The Psychology of Fedjacketing
Accusing grassroots Nationalist groups of being Feds is psychologically satisfying because of its unfalsifiability and self-flattery.
In scientific study, the first test of any hypothesis is whether your explanation can be proven false with acquisition of evidence to the contrary. That evidence may not actually exist, but if it did exist it would prove your explanation wasn’t correct. Without falsifiability, we would never be able to reject a claim no matter how absurd it was.
For instance, I might propose that gravity exists on Earth, and therefore any time I jump I will soon thereafter fall to the ground. While I might never encounter a time that I do jump and float off into space, if I did it would at least throw a serious question towards how we think gravity works. Absurd as that evidence is, the fact that it could exist and disprove my explanation suggests that my hypothesis is stronger because there are ways to test and find evidence that could disprove it.
Contrast that against most cases of Fedjacketing. While Feds do exist – unfortunately - most accusations base their evidence on absolutely contradictory and irrelevant information. A short list of popular “evidences” from our modern online Sherlocks as to why Patriot Front are Feds are summarized as follows:
Too fit
Too fat
Matching uniforms
Cheap clothing
Masked faces
March in orderly lines
Carrying flags and shields
Not getting arrested
Getting arrested
No popularized Conservative approves of them
Or the best evidence of all:
It’s just obvious
Our astute readers may notice how many pieces of evidence are non-sequiturs or even contradictory. That’s because these are not actual pieces of evidence but instead disconnected observations used to support a predefined conclusion. While all of these points have simple, plausible explanations, the accuser will act like the ONLY reason they could have a fit or a fat member is because they are Feds!
This “evidence” is actually just an excuse for an emotional reaction cloaked as reason. The “principled Conservative” is taught to have an adverse reaction to anything effective or assertive that pushes back against their neutering and replacement. This appeals to a certain effete, lazy, and terrified type who wants the prestige of virtuous Patriotism without all the hard effort and choices required for it.
This kind of Conservative is normally king of the roost – no one else is as much of a “Patriot” as he is in Our Democracy! In our two-party state you are either a Commie-Democrat or a Patriot-Republican. There is no third option, meaning there is no real competition. Libertarians are just a reservation for Republicans. You can ignore them.
But then our beautiful loser Conservative sees young, fit men in an organized parade, bearing not just one but ALL American flags throughout our history and then some, speaking about the decay of America in bold, uncompromising terms. This Nationalistic expression is basically everything that Conservatives whisper about around their dinner tables, but are too afraid to say aloud in public.
Our Conservative is now confused. “Strength and organization, for MY traditional values!?” He doesn’t feel he could fall in with these intimidating sorts who might actually be able to have their political way if they put their minds and muscle to it. Actually having power would require taking responsibility and having true confidence in one’s beliefs in the face of nagging Leftists and cowardly Rightists. That’s a lot to ask!
This shames and befuddles the Conservative, who is taught that anything that isn’t Fox News approved is Leftist or Socialist – i.e. “bad”. But these guys don’t look like Leftists. They look positively and powerfully patriotic – more patriotic than his own Republican party even! And they’re uncomfortably close to looking like appealing Traditionalists with youthful vigor. Our beautiful-loser Conservative can’t have THAT kind of competition making him look and feel weak by comparison!
Nevertheless, our Conservative must resolve this cognitive dissonance. He could try to understand what these guys are about. He could even seek to improve himself to get on and above Patriot Front’s level. But that’s a lot of effort requiring personal insight, and he might risk humbling himself in that process. Pah! Not gonna happen!
Instead, what our Conservative wants is what every McAmerican wants: A quick, easy excuse that makes him look smart and better than the ones making him feel uncomfortable. Happy then is that Conservative who has learned the magic word that dispels all personal responsibility to act: “FEDS!”
Ah, what a beautiful excuse it is! It dismisses any need to look objectively into these people, suggesting that the speaker already has such a discerning eye that he has “figured it all out” at just a glance! Any so-called evidence will do no matter how flimsy – they’re fat, they’re fit, they’re wearing the same shirts - because no evidence could dissuade this Conservative from his self-satisfying, and self-aggrandizing, delusion.
“They’re Feds, because they’re Feds. I can feel it. It’s just obvious, duh! Praise me.”
This psychological trick is remarkably akin to Gangstalking, or at least the paranoid-delusional form of it. Paranoid individuals become convinced that they are being stalked by someone intending them harm, and then they are told that their stalkers have “obvious tells” – they all drive black SUV’s, they frequently park over the lines, and they even scratch their nose as silent signals to their handlers.
All these sightings further convince the victim that they are being stalked. Every observation reinforces and deepens the paranoia, leading to a hypervigilance and the sighting of more “signs” – a self-reinforcing whirlpool that sends many otherwise healthy minds down the drain.
But the problem is those common observations are easily explained by other, far more plausible reasons – black is a popular color for vehicles, normal people suck at parking, and everyone gets an itchy nose sometimes. These are not usually signs of sophisticated conspiracies but just common occurrences that are, actually, coincidental and nothing more.
But because they are trapped in the narrative, “I am being stalked,” the “evidence” confirms their fears and deepens them. Part of the coping mechanism is to convince themselves that they are “too clever” to be tricked by these nose-scratching stalkers whom they now see evidence of everywhere. That kind of positive self-flattery is particularly addictive to the terrorized – a tiny crumb of control in an utterly helpless situation, the same kind of copium devoured by adherents of QAnon.
Worst of all, gangstalking paranoia is contagious. No one wants to be tricked and made a fool of in public, so why not take the safer route and denounce any grassroots initiative that appeals to your Traditionalist instincts but challenges Conservatism? As an unfalsifiable proposition, you can’t be proven wrong – there is never any way to fully disprove the Fedjacketing “evidence”, because it isn’t evidence at all.
What Fedjacketing amounts to is instant, cheap kudos and self-satisfaction while distancing oneself from the embarrassment of being outclassed in one’s convictions - all without having to lift a finger.
It’s exactly what every McAmerican wants!
Fedjacketing is a win-no loss position to take, as most forms of cynicism are. If you never believe in anything, you can’t be made to look like a fool for being wrong sometimes. It is why cynicism is such a pernicious refuge of the helpless and discouraged in modernity. Like blackpilling in general, it demoralizes others and shames them about their political beliefs in anything, especially the confident and Romantic faith of Nationalist aspirations.
Taking a stand takes an assertion of courage, a willingness to bear the pain of being proven wrong for what you believe in and doing it anyway for the love of your convictions and the strength of your faith. If your average Conservative lacks the spine to stand up for himself, then it is up to people such as my readers to stand on firm ground when facing down the inevitable Fedjacketing.
Putting Down Fedjacketing Claims
Before we deal with the claims for feddery, keep in mind two important things:
First, Feds actually do infiltrate, create honeypots, and mislead people into trouble. That is true. Some people do the bidding of Glowies and bad-faith agents, whether they are aware or not. And plenty of innocent people end up furthering bad-faith narratives because of how diabolically persuasive those psyops are crafted. Actual bad actors should be carefully and tactically exposed to protect people from their influence. In any case, approaching Fed claims with a careful reason and not just emotional reflex is absolutely necessary to not get stuck in the ego-stroking Fedjacketing trap.
Second, the forthcoming techniques are not for the benefit of the Fedjacketer. They are not interested in reason. They say “Fed” to justify their self-gratification and to excuse their lack of conviction and action. As truth and reason require effort and humbleness, this will not be at all attractive to these demoralized cynics. Rather all these techniques are for showing onlookers the foolishness of Fedjacketing and to dissuade them from falling for it. Don’t expect the recipient of the following techniques to “see the light” anytime soon. They often don’t want to see it.
Dissect
Use reason to pick apart their baseless claims “proving” the Feddery afoot. Showcase just how much more plausible your explanation is than their convoluted accusations of Glowie conspiracy. Better yet, provide direct counter-examples to their claims, such as those gleaned from news stories or leaks.
For Patriot Front, you could briefly point out to their common claims in turn and reference their 2021 leaks and other objective articles:
Too fat orfit: Patriot Front emphasizes fitness and even has a physical fitness test in their application process. If a recruit fails, they are put into a fitness program. This would condemn many of the critics to jazzercize classes instantaneously.
Uniforms and cheap clothes: Everyone loves uniforms, and having both a dress code and a suggested buy list is how they more or less achieve the same general look at low cost. Even school clubs can easily achieve a cohesive look without requiring government expertise or funding. Nationalists are no different.
Masks: The prosecutions of Charlottesville and Jan 6th clearly show the value of anonymous political dissent. Listen to the broken-tract of Lefties bawling about the masks because they inhibit their ability to persecute the dissidents. They hate not being able to destroy your life easily.
Orderly marching: Patriot Front have videos showing veteran members practicing it with the new guys, and how most of them don’t know the basics until they do. Even highschoolers are routinely taught the basics of marching in band. Is the whole brass ensemble Feds too? No, we all know it’s the percussionists...
Flags and shields: These materials are available for bulk purchases by civilians, and the shields have seen direct use against attackers multiple times. Both make sense for a dissident group in public protest known for being attacked.
Arrest or No Arrest: Patriot Front was arrested for “Conspiracy to Riot” in Idaho in 2022, and those arrested were both demasked and their names paraded around the media as trophies. They do get arrested, and they do get legally harassed as a result. So they try not to get arrested by not committing crimes during their demonstrations. Unless only Feds like to not get arrested.
Wow, what an insightful and astute observation! I’m sure nothing will- 
Oh. They were unmasked, and very publicly. Oh. Still Feds, right? No Conservative Support: Why would Conservative leaders want to support their greatest rivals for their base? They’re busily stealing and sterilizing their talking points to try to keep ahead of the swelling Nationalist sentiment. Conservative leaders denounce Nationalists to protect their own lunch.
This all being said, Feds still do exist. You may find out in the course of your critical thinking and investigation into some people and groups that there are legitimate suspicious circumstances and evidences supporting a claim of malfeasance. If that’s the case, your dissection of the claims will prove valuable in ruling out common excuses. Critical thinking is almost never a bad idea in the face of mindless blather.
The main point is that stripping away the absurd fig-leaves of “Fed evidence” will expose the nakedness of their real motivation - selfish indulgence of weak egos. And that lays them bare to the second, even more important step.
Mock
Those who Fedjacket are motivated by public praise. Mockery turns that attention on its head. Instead of that person being recognized for the brilliance of their split-second assessment, they are pointed out for being the mouth-breathing dupe who parrots subversives and propagandists. Not exactly the title most people want to be known for.
Any on-point mockery will do, but the more-honest and funny the better. Honesty finds the chink in their armor, and humor drives the point home. Funny put-downs are more effectively shared and repeated, and especially if it is concise enough for others to repeat themselves in similar circumstances.
Mockery induces shame and public derision, and can prevent a lot of those who would jump onto the Fedjacketing bandwagon from climbing aboard. Given it is all an exercise in ego-padding by means of touting how smart they are, showcasing how mindlessly stupid they are is a direct antidote to the venom they’re chugging.
It shouldn’t be a difficult stretch to turn the eye-rolling exasperation one has at the ever-repeating platitudes and NPC-tier accusations into a few potent doses of humorous put-downs. Many anons have already put in much of the hard work – use it!
Plus, as always, mockery is fun. Get your fellow shitposters involved! Build up your meme folders and deploy them generously at all the worthless Fed-sayers out there. And do so for any grassroots Nationalist group out there on the receiving end of it to raise the tide for all dissident ships.
Besides, the salt that pours from them is delicious and plentiful when they struggle to recover from the shock of being humiliated as the retard they sound like. Enjoy it!
Conclusion
Feds do exist, just not in every teacup and cupboard out there. The fear induced by Fedjacketing paranoia benefits only the very Feds that people complain about. By over-inflating their actual presence and capabilities, Fedjacketing infects people with a despondent cynicism and learned helplessness that makes them withdraw from listening to new and attractive ideas and actions that are desperately needed in this age of decay.
Luckily, the medicine in this case is mostly a spoonful of sugar. With just a bit of reasoned dissection and a strong dose of mockery to these prole-prattlers, you can break the paranoia-coping cycle they unwittingly fall into and free them and others from the eternal Samsara that is Fedjacketing ego-masturbation.
If all goes well, this article will soon be a relic of its age as the days of “Feds!” accusations die away in a hail of hilarious mockery. Point and laugh at the stupidity of people, especially online – it’s medicine for the Nation and the soul.
Clearly a fed wrote this
As a Fed, this was a hilarious and accurate read. So many on the right think we are much more resourced and competent than we are.